I think nurturing the kid inside us is something we all need to do to feel more fulfilled in life. The kid just wants to play, explore, learn, and be creative. I’ve actually found that letting that kid’s curiosity out to play has helped me be a better student and as I start writing on Substack myself, I think it’ll help me become a better writer/communicator.
I needed this so badly😭 I work from 8 am to 4pm, and then I study from 6 pm to 10:30pm. I usually don’t get any free time during the week. The only things that get me through the week are one 10min meditation a day, one chapter of the book I’m currently reading, and your weekly newsletters/voicenotes. Every Saturday I take a 5h exam, and then I go through my to-do lists and errands. The only real free time I get is Sunday, and I usually stay in bed all day watching TV shows, tiktoks or scrolling through instagram, but somehow I still feel like I don’t get any rest, (no wonder why, social media is exhausting). Then, I feel bad about wasting my time, so I study some more. This will be my routine until January 2026, and I really need to do something about resting for real, or else I’ll burnout.
Thank you for sharing your advice, Matt. I think this will help a lot of us, I’m already planning on having a pool day this Sunday :)
This resonates a ton, thank you for sharing! Routinizing flexibility and recovery/rest has been a big mantra of mine lately, so hearing and seeing these thoughts written out by you is inspiring and validating. Sending love to all in this community to rediscover and pursue our inner child passions and garnering excitement for activities outside of work we know will make us happy. ❤️
Such an important and great topic to bring up🙌! People struggle with doing so much (at the same time) and there is only a limited amount of time in the day/ during the week. Where in the world are you gonna find time to just… rest and enjoy?
I have 0 data to back this up, but I feel like more and more people start to burnout in the newer generations. Could be my country (the Netherlands) or worldwide. But I think a reason for this could be that we don’t give ourselves enough self love.
For myself, reading books is definitely one of the activities that brings some rest. Physically and mentally! Currently reading the Maze Runner series, utterly amazing books for whoever likes thrillers!! Got the first three down in three weeks and I’m now reading the prequel (‘the Kill Order’)!
Much love y’all, so so curious who’s gonna end up being ‘my’ (sounds a bit excessive, but you get the point🫠) penpal. Looking forward either way:))
Thanks for sharing Matt! I truly resonate with this, I used to think that building to-do lists only revolves around my weekly work schedule but now I also use them on my days off to prioritize rest and recovery. I found that it’s been helpful to be more intentional with my time. I also found that if I’m on the go all the time, my body will shut down and take that break for me, so preparing myself for rest in the first place plays a huge part within my self care regimen.
Weekends are tough for me too. I thought I was the only one that sucks at rest. I’m a full time journalism student and work on the weekends to make money, but mainly to keep me busy.
I am from California but go to school in Arizona. This weekend my friend is coming to town so we’re going to Sedona. I heard it’s very beautiful, and it is a spiritual haven.
I’m excited to close the laptop and explore like a kid again.
Wow, absolutely great post and really made me think about... So much more.
I feel like sharing my experience about this, cause for me this is actually a much bigger problem than it seems to be.
As a confirmed ADHD-er, I must say I struggle with structuring my life. And the real reason behind it is I actually *hate* organizing myself and putting time marks on what am I going to do and where.
As some of you may know, I quit my job as a University teacher last year and moved from Zagreb to Barcelona at 31 y.o. to study again. At the same time I opened my own small private business and as much this was an absolutely freeing experience, I just lost the structure and often feel *lost*.
The flexibility of my jobs (music composer and audiovisual translator), having classes in the afternoon, not having to wake up in the morning, having the choice to do my job(s) whenever I want... Sounds absolutely perfect, right?
Yeah, in a way, it's fantastic - but for me, this lack of structure created a total life chaos. Plus, be it for ADHD or not, I am a type of person that can't actually control their urges. So whatever I think of, I have to do it *now*, and if I don't, it goes on my eternal to-do list and could probably never happen.
For example, I am writing this comment at 5 am while I probably should be sleeping 🤣 (my sleeping schedule is weird af and changes every day), but I needed to write it - most of the time it's *actually* now or never with me. You probably wouldn't be reading this if I ever planned to write it.
So as much as my long-time dream to become free and autonomous came true, I really agree structure really is the key to everything, and your post made me especially think of this.
It's a process with me - it's not like tomorrow I'll magically start organizing myself, but starting to plan actual things to do in my calendar, however confining and hateful it may seem at first to my brain at first, should be a great first step.
So maybe I make a reservation of that studying room at our Conservatori and do the task I've been postponing for days (weeks)... And I also think I'll finally book that 3-day trip to Madrid for the next weekend which I wanted to do for a long time.
Oh yeah, and since writing this obviously got me going, I'd also like to address a similar problem from one of your previous posts about moving to one city and making a life there! I am totally crazy when it comes to that, changing my cities every one, two, three years and although my brain just begs for some novelty and I love it, I really should stop somewhere. Why do I feel so frightened about it?
So yeah, I'm a bit lost, but continuing a journey to find myself is something I look forward to enjoying. Thanks to everyone for reading this until the end and have a great day. And special greetings to our Barcelona crew which I'm happy to be a part of. ♥️
Can 1000% relate Luka. I've been on my own schedule the past two years and sought that freedom that you mentioned. But that lifestyle can actually drive you crazy if you're not careful. That's why I added art classes + volunteering to my schedule to make sure there's not all this empty space. Sounds like a good problem to have, and it is, but we gotta be smart about it. Hope you're loving Barcelona btw!
Love this! This couldn't have come at a more perfect time. I read The Artist's Way last year and am trying to keep up with Artist Dates every week with one longer one each month, and I'm doing it in two days! I'm planning to spend the day doing some of my favorite things around the city I live in, and it'll really only be possible because I've written a breakdown of how I want the day to flow. It feels so nice to put together a sweet day for myself.
Love it :) I've found it to be hard keeping up with them weekly but I never ever regret it any time I do them. Excited to hopefully hear what you get up to!
I actually really needed to hear this right now. With so much happening in my life and in the world (I'm American and very very not okay with what's happening) I forget to take time to just be. I busy myself to avoid depression. I busy myself to avoid the news. I busy myself because it feels good, but when I give myself a moment to breathe, I end up feeling helpless.
I don't know how to preplan, but I guess I'll try it for this weekend. Perhaps dinner with a friend, or treating myself to a new book.
Dinner with a friend + a new book sounds freaking rad to me. And feel you on the keeping busy and when you stop feeling depressed. I think again that that's a symptom of not putting enough energy into those days off. Once you do (and I do), I think we'll notice a huge difference in how we feel
Love this. I too struggled with rest for a long time. Maybe blame it on my Capricorn moon or my lifestyle but even my days “off” are days catching up on laundry. Cleaning the kitchen. Cooking a good home cooked meal. Even my downtime or quality time almost had to feel scheduled. I’ve gotten significantly better at relaxing over the last year-ish but it was a muscle that needed to be exercised. It started with telling my boss that I needed every Sunday off. I belong to a club of people in my hometown that plays Dnd every other Sunday. So Sundays are my days to hang out with friends, sleep in a bit and maybe do one or two loads of laundry. Than is started taking up reading and playing sims. This is when I really started to be able to relax more. There was no rhyme or reason to it just “I need to decompress”. I still struggle with it. Some days are wayyyy better than others, I grew up in a house with a very type A mother. If your room wasn’t spotless, your homework wasn’t done and extra. You needed to be doing somthing. She always had me in multiple extracurricular activities. She would get upset if I “hid away in my room” or wanted to just take a nap. She was also someone that taught me that “love had to be earned” and and extension of that “rest had to be well deserved”. You couldn’t take a vacation unless you worked overtime and put back money first. It was a never ending cycle of jumping on that hydronic treadmill. Always feeling like you could be doing more. If I simply didn’t do the dishes, I was a waste and lazy. Spirituality and counseling. Really helped. I started to learn that a purpose is not what you do but instead who you are. I learned that this “do do do mentality” is a very western way of thinking and started getting uncomfortable by just sitting in my own presence. It’s not easy and I still have to actively work at it but it’s gotten better
Sounds like you're breaking the cycle passed down from your mom. Same here :) Learning to rest even though it was never taught is as hard for me as learning Spanish fluently haha. But slowly but surely, we get there!
If it makes you feel any better i failed french and barely passed highschool Spanish with a low c and I had two tutors 🤡🤣 to be fair though, i grew up in the south where we barely speak proper English. Lol
Love this and for those not born to rest: It rings SO TRUE. I'm not one of them, I can rest, and then rest some more; but I'm married to a non-rester. Hoping to pass along your shared wisdom. Enjoy the weekend!
when i am doing somehting just for me, i sometimes catch myself feeling guilty, but i should not be, and i know, i can’t even remember the last time i did something really for me, i couldn’t even tell you.. maybe that is my journey for this weekend, do something only for me, what i like and where i get energy from, i think that is my journey of seeking discomfort this weekend :)
have fun in Girona, Matt! would love to see some pictures from your trip!
An incredible post! I found myself with an evening off last week; the options were endless: a movie? read a book? go for a run?
I got caught in decision paralysis and spent the time scrolling Instagram.
Rest needs structure, intention, and pre-planning.
A true word in season.
P.S. Would love to see some photos/snippets from your time exploring over the weekend!
Yep yep, I'll fall prey to scrolling youtube shorts if I don't preplan as well. So easy to slip back. And will definitely be taking pics of Girona!
First two lines are insanely relatable
Really cool stuff Matt!
I think nurturing the kid inside us is something we all need to do to feel more fulfilled in life. The kid just wants to play, explore, learn, and be creative. I’ve actually found that letting that kid’s curiosity out to play has helped me be a better student and as I start writing on Substack myself, I think it’ll help me become a better writer/communicator.
Big love right back at ya!
100%. I think you will too Federico :). That kid is our true self and knows exactly where we should go if we're willing to listen
I needed this so badly😭 I work from 8 am to 4pm, and then I study from 6 pm to 10:30pm. I usually don’t get any free time during the week. The only things that get me through the week are one 10min meditation a day, one chapter of the book I’m currently reading, and your weekly newsletters/voicenotes. Every Saturday I take a 5h exam, and then I go through my to-do lists and errands. The only real free time I get is Sunday, and I usually stay in bed all day watching TV shows, tiktoks or scrolling through instagram, but somehow I still feel like I don’t get any rest, (no wonder why, social media is exhausting). Then, I feel bad about wasting my time, so I study some more. This will be my routine until January 2026, and I really need to do something about resting for real, or else I’ll burnout.
Thank you for sharing your advice, Matt. I think this will help a lot of us, I’m already planning on having a pool day this Sunday :)
Take care y’all 🫶🏻
Wow, that's a freaking intense schedule, Polet. Glad the newsletter helped and I hope you can go easy on yourself cuz you're working really hard. <3
Thank you 🥹
This resonates a ton, thank you for sharing! Routinizing flexibility and recovery/rest has been a big mantra of mine lately, so hearing and seeing these thoughts written out by you is inspiring and validating. Sending love to all in this community to rediscover and pursue our inner child passions and garnering excitement for activities outside of work we know will make us happy. ❤️
Such an important and great topic to bring up🙌! People struggle with doing so much (at the same time) and there is only a limited amount of time in the day/ during the week. Where in the world are you gonna find time to just… rest and enjoy?
I have 0 data to back this up, but I feel like more and more people start to burnout in the newer generations. Could be my country (the Netherlands) or worldwide. But I think a reason for this could be that we don’t give ourselves enough self love.
For myself, reading books is definitely one of the activities that brings some rest. Physically and mentally! Currently reading the Maze Runner series, utterly amazing books for whoever likes thrillers!! Got the first three down in three weeks and I’m now reading the prequel (‘the Kill Order’)!
Much love y’all, so so curious who’s gonna end up being ‘my’ (sounds a bit excessive, but you get the point🫠) penpal. Looking forward either way:))
Books do the same for me :) And never heard of Maze Runner, gonna check that series out!
Thanks for sharing Matt! I truly resonate with this, I used to think that building to-do lists only revolves around my weekly work schedule but now I also use them on my days off to prioritize rest and recovery. I found that it’s been helpful to be more intentional with my time. I also found that if I’m on the go all the time, my body will shut down and take that break for me, so preparing myself for rest in the first place plays a huge part within my self care regimen.
sounds like you've got it down, Jeremaine! Love that you're so intentional about it
Simply the timing of this email is bang on!
Sending love to you ❤️
:))) <3
Weekends are tough for me too. I thought I was the only one that sucks at rest. I’m a full time journalism student and work on the weekends to make money, but mainly to keep me busy.
I am from California but go to school in Arizona. This weekend my friend is coming to town so we’re going to Sedona. I heard it’s very beautiful, and it is a spiritual haven.
I’m excited to close the laptop and explore like a kid again.
Thank you for inspiring me Matt!
Sedona is outrageously gorgeous. Soak it up, Bella!
Wow, absolutely great post and really made me think about... So much more.
I feel like sharing my experience about this, cause for me this is actually a much bigger problem than it seems to be.
As a confirmed ADHD-er, I must say I struggle with structuring my life. And the real reason behind it is I actually *hate* organizing myself and putting time marks on what am I going to do and where.
As some of you may know, I quit my job as a University teacher last year and moved from Zagreb to Barcelona at 31 y.o. to study again. At the same time I opened my own small private business and as much this was an absolutely freeing experience, I just lost the structure and often feel *lost*.
The flexibility of my jobs (music composer and audiovisual translator), having classes in the afternoon, not having to wake up in the morning, having the choice to do my job(s) whenever I want... Sounds absolutely perfect, right?
Yeah, in a way, it's fantastic - but for me, this lack of structure created a total life chaos. Plus, be it for ADHD or not, I am a type of person that can't actually control their urges. So whatever I think of, I have to do it *now*, and if I don't, it goes on my eternal to-do list and could probably never happen.
For example, I am writing this comment at 5 am while I probably should be sleeping 🤣 (my sleeping schedule is weird af and changes every day), but I needed to write it - most of the time it's *actually* now or never with me. You probably wouldn't be reading this if I ever planned to write it.
So as much as my long-time dream to become free and autonomous came true, I really agree structure really is the key to everything, and your post made me especially think of this.
It's a process with me - it's not like tomorrow I'll magically start organizing myself, but starting to plan actual things to do in my calendar, however confining and hateful it may seem at first to my brain at first, should be a great first step.
So maybe I make a reservation of that studying room at our Conservatori and do the task I've been postponing for days (weeks)... And I also think I'll finally book that 3-day trip to Madrid for the next weekend which I wanted to do for a long time.
Oh yeah, and since writing this obviously got me going, I'd also like to address a similar problem from one of your previous posts about moving to one city and making a life there! I am totally crazy when it comes to that, changing my cities every one, two, three years and although my brain just begs for some novelty and I love it, I really should stop somewhere. Why do I feel so frightened about it?
So yeah, I'm a bit lost, but continuing a journey to find myself is something I look forward to enjoying. Thanks to everyone for reading this until the end and have a great day. And special greetings to our Barcelona crew which I'm happy to be a part of. ♥️
Can 1000% relate Luka. I've been on my own schedule the past two years and sought that freedom that you mentioned. But that lifestyle can actually drive you crazy if you're not careful. That's why I added art classes + volunteering to my schedule to make sure there's not all this empty space. Sounds like a good problem to have, and it is, but we gotta be smart about it. Hope you're loving Barcelona btw!
Love this! This couldn't have come at a more perfect time. I read The Artist's Way last year and am trying to keep up with Artist Dates every week with one longer one each month, and I'm doing it in two days! I'm planning to spend the day doing some of my favorite things around the city I live in, and it'll really only be possible because I've written a breakdown of how I want the day to flow. It feels so nice to put together a sweet day for myself.
Love it :) I've found it to be hard keeping up with them weekly but I never ever regret it any time I do them. Excited to hopefully hear what you get up to!
I actually really needed to hear this right now. With so much happening in my life and in the world (I'm American and very very not okay with what's happening) I forget to take time to just be. I busy myself to avoid depression. I busy myself to avoid the news. I busy myself because it feels good, but when I give myself a moment to breathe, I end up feeling helpless.
I don't know how to preplan, but I guess I'll try it for this weekend. Perhaps dinner with a friend, or treating myself to a new book.
Dinner with a friend + a new book sounds freaking rad to me. And feel you on the keeping busy and when you stop feeling depressed. I think again that that's a symptom of not putting enough energy into those days off. Once you do (and I do), I think we'll notice a huge difference in how we feel
Love this. I too struggled with rest for a long time. Maybe blame it on my Capricorn moon or my lifestyle but even my days “off” are days catching up on laundry. Cleaning the kitchen. Cooking a good home cooked meal. Even my downtime or quality time almost had to feel scheduled. I’ve gotten significantly better at relaxing over the last year-ish but it was a muscle that needed to be exercised. It started with telling my boss that I needed every Sunday off. I belong to a club of people in my hometown that plays Dnd every other Sunday. So Sundays are my days to hang out with friends, sleep in a bit and maybe do one or two loads of laundry. Than is started taking up reading and playing sims. This is when I really started to be able to relax more. There was no rhyme or reason to it just “I need to decompress”. I still struggle with it. Some days are wayyyy better than others, I grew up in a house with a very type A mother. If your room wasn’t spotless, your homework wasn’t done and extra. You needed to be doing somthing. She always had me in multiple extracurricular activities. She would get upset if I “hid away in my room” or wanted to just take a nap. She was also someone that taught me that “love had to be earned” and and extension of that “rest had to be well deserved”. You couldn’t take a vacation unless you worked overtime and put back money first. It was a never ending cycle of jumping on that hydronic treadmill. Always feeling like you could be doing more. If I simply didn’t do the dishes, I was a waste and lazy. Spirituality and counseling. Really helped. I started to learn that a purpose is not what you do but instead who you are. I learned that this “do do do mentality” is a very western way of thinking and started getting uncomfortable by just sitting in my own presence. It’s not easy and I still have to actively work at it but it’s gotten better
Sounds like you're breaking the cycle passed down from your mom. Same here :) Learning to rest even though it was never taught is as hard for me as learning Spanish fluently haha. But slowly but surely, we get there!
If it makes you feel any better i failed french and barely passed highschool Spanish with a low c and I had two tutors 🤡🤣 to be fair though, i grew up in the south where we barely speak proper English. Lol
Love this and for those not born to rest: It rings SO TRUE. I'm not one of them, I can rest, and then rest some more; but I'm married to a non-rester. Hoping to pass along your shared wisdom. Enjoy the weekend!
incredible post Matt!
when i am doing somehting just for me, i sometimes catch myself feeling guilty, but i should not be, and i know, i can’t even remember the last time i did something really for me, i couldn’t even tell you.. maybe that is my journey for this weekend, do something only for me, what i like and where i get energy from, i think that is my journey of seeking discomfort this weekend :)
have fun in Girona, Matt! would love to see some pictures from your trip!
Loved your post, Matt.
You reminded me of all those times when I got neither rest nor any kind of work done. Just frustration and regret.
Planning your day off is a good idea. You know what to expect and set your focus on nothing else.
That was a good insight, it goes the same with me. I feel that something is off when I rest. Ill try structuring thigs during rest days. Thanks!