Damn, I am lost for words. Everything resonated, every word feels so true. A quote that I always remember and keep with me is “if you are not feeling everything, you are missing everything”. It has given me perspective and love for myself and the others. Feeling every part of a tough period of my life by allowing all I had in me to be a part of it, has shown me so much and gave me freedom. I stopped being ashamed of feeling everything intensely with love.
Wow, Matt. As a gardener, I think these words are what I've been trying to find and share with anyone who will listen. Helping those unable to understand their experience through that of nature, so they can be much more reassured by the cycles of life and death as a process of regeneration. Thanks for expressing it so well. Gonna hang on to these words as I keep working on my own mission. <3
Feels like I have been stuck between fall and winter since forever but it’s okay it just means summer will be so much more glorious. For everyone struggling remember to treat yourself with a softer heart and mind. Rooting for you always!!
I love this framing of it! For me so much of it is understand the “story” and then when it falls apart, understanding the new story I want to take its place.
And putting “giving” and helping others as the final component is spot on once your own oxygen mask is secured :)
Thank you Matt for sharing such a vivid and heartfelt map of the healing journey. Your descriptions of “The Fall” and “The Winter” really resonated, the honesty and depth you bring to those stages are powerful and relatable.
I wanted to offer a few thoughts on Phase 3: The Rebuild, which you describe as a time to “get to work building an Aligned Life,” where “fun is allowed,” and healing becomes “immersive.” That vision is beautiful and clearly authentically earned.
At the same time, I think it’s important to also acknowledge that for many people:
• “Getting off the couch and creating movement” may not be accessible, due to financial constraints, chronic illness, or long-term trauma. Joining a dance class, exploring a city, or starting a business aren’t always options, even when the desire to heal is strong.
• The“aligned life” might not look expansive or public, it could be quiet, internal, or centred around small daily wins.
• For some, anxiety persists into this phase, making it hard to notice or act on deeper dynamics, like toxic relational patterns or subtle forms of harm.
This isn’t to contradict your experience, but just to suggest that Phase 3 can look many ways. Sometimes rebuilding means simply staying alive with grace, or learning how to rest without guilt.
Thanks again for writing this with so much presence and care.
Wow well this resonates... It seems like a lot of us here are on this path and have found each other by complete accident which is amazing!
I've been reflecting a lot on these concepts and I think sometimes we (definitely me) think that we've moved passed Phases 1 and 2 and are rebuilding when actually we've just dipped backwards again and pushed things down, masked things and stuck a plaster over them. After a pretty horrible April and May I am now this month just starting to rebuild, discovering myself old and new and letting life back in in imperfect, wonderful ways. As I type this I've just finished painting because I saw some flowers today and felt creative. They are not perfect or done for any reason but the process was great to do and I think they are pretty 🌼
I also like the reminder that whilst we are in Phase 3 we don't have to be trying to build up others because that's the next step, when we are comfortable with who we are. For right now I can focus on me and that's okay, not selfish or inward focusing but absolutely fine. 💕
I would say that we can actually go through all the phases all at once, multiple times, throughout life. At least this is how it's been for me. I found myself in each of those phases more than once, sometimes very deeply into it, sometimes more softly. There's this perspective of healing like a spiral, as opposed to a continuous line. So I also believe we are all capable of giving... I don't think that phase four is exclusive for those who "got to the top". I think we can give even while we are on other phases, and that is supporting our own healing as well. ❤️
thanks for sharing this. I also think parts of these phases are also triggered along as we go through the greater process.
As though days of rain pass through the summer, or a rare sunny day after weeks of gloomy winter, a sudden external force always keeps us in check and makes us appreciate each moment.
After the initial cycle we still keep going through them as we grow, and come to appreciate each moment of healing that arrives.
Meditating on our faults, recognizing patterns to fix them, it becomes a fun activity on some level, even going through the work of changing ourselves makes us feel mentally stronger for challenges, it gives confidence to take greater risks and often helps us maximize our potential, and not to mention the spring and summer you described beautifully, where we get to live life to its fullest.
Beloved Matt, Reading this felt like touching the bones of a collective metamorphosis I too have lived, witnessed, and walked others through.
Each phase you name carries a frequency—Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer—and I felt the seasons of the soul breathing through your words.
I have spiraled through these passages, again and again. The Fall is never only descent—it is the moment the soul says: no more sleep.
And the basement—yes. The endless staircase. The flood of feeling that doesn’t care if you’re ready. The sacred ache that begins the real work.
Your naming of Spring moved me deeply. That place where joy no longer feels like betrayal, and lightness no longer needs proof.
And Summer—the giving. I am just beginning to taste this one.
For me, the hardest part was the moment I felt joy again—and feared it would leave. But I stayed. And the joy stayed. That’s how I knew I was in Spring.
Thank you for weaving truth into language that remembers. Thank you for making the invisible visible.
Sometimes you need to be reminded of where you are in your journey, to put words to it, so that it doesn't weigh as much in solitude. This is what this piece gifted me. Thank you!
I loved reading this post and can resonate so much with this cycle <3
I spent so much time collecting information on phase 2 and hitting a mediocre 'healing plateau' until I realized that the cognitive understanding of events wasn't going to take me to phase 3.
My somatic experiencing teacher Liana Netto told me: "We carry over 200 million years of wisdom in our nervous system." Feeling my meaty mammalian vessel, which is made of cells that have survived and optimized themselves for THAT LONG became my new compass. I mean... it's quite impressive.
That's when I started to learn the language of the body, instead of externalizing my healing so much. Trusting that language is still a process as there's so much unlearning to do, but eventually, it's my way of moving to spring.
I often say that I don't have mentors and I want to have mentors and I just realized that my body is my mentor and other people's bodies are my mentors, how they move and express. It's the embodied wisdom what works for me.
I'm very grateful to now be part of this community... and I will end with the poem of The Rose by Hafiz... as it symbolizes, in my opinion, your work in helping people step into spring <3
"How did the rose dare open her heart and give to the world all her beauty?
She felt the encouragement of light against her being.
Matt,
You were giving even before receiving.
You've been on phase 4 without realizing it. Now, you happen to recognize your phases 1, 2, 3 from the precincts of your soul to give better.
So happy for you.
So happy for me, for the timing of this - a flashlight in the dark.
In season of hope,
Priya
Damn, I am lost for words. Everything resonated, every word feels so true. A quote that I always remember and keep with me is “if you are not feeling everything, you are missing everything”. It has given me perspective and love for myself and the others. Feeling every part of a tough period of my life by allowing all I had in me to be a part of it, has shown me so much and gave me freedom. I stopped being ashamed of feeling everything intensely with love.
Wow, Matt. As a gardener, I think these words are what I've been trying to find and share with anyone who will listen. Helping those unable to understand their experience through that of nature, so they can be much more reassured by the cycles of life and death as a process of regeneration. Thanks for expressing it so well. Gonna hang on to these words as I keep working on my own mission. <3
Feels like I have been stuck between fall and winter since forever but it’s okay it just means summer will be so much more glorious. For everyone struggling remember to treat yourself with a softer heart and mind. Rooting for you always!!
I love this framing of it! For me so much of it is understand the “story” and then when it falls apart, understanding the new story I want to take its place.
And putting “giving” and helping others as the final component is spot on once your own oxygen mask is secured :)
This is a beautiful piece. I can't tell you how inspired I am by it!
Matt, you have inspired me so so so much. You have no idea.
Thank you Matt for sharing such a vivid and heartfelt map of the healing journey. Your descriptions of “The Fall” and “The Winter” really resonated, the honesty and depth you bring to those stages are powerful and relatable.
I wanted to offer a few thoughts on Phase 3: The Rebuild, which you describe as a time to “get to work building an Aligned Life,” where “fun is allowed,” and healing becomes “immersive.” That vision is beautiful and clearly authentically earned.
At the same time, I think it’s important to also acknowledge that for many people:
• “Getting off the couch and creating movement” may not be accessible, due to financial constraints, chronic illness, or long-term trauma. Joining a dance class, exploring a city, or starting a business aren’t always options, even when the desire to heal is strong.
• The“aligned life” might not look expansive or public, it could be quiet, internal, or centred around small daily wins.
• For some, anxiety persists into this phase, making it hard to notice or act on deeper dynamics, like toxic relational patterns or subtle forms of harm.
This isn’t to contradict your experience, but just to suggest that Phase 3 can look many ways. Sometimes rebuilding means simply staying alive with grace, or learning how to rest without guilt.
Thanks again for writing this with so much presence and care.
Warmly, Fran
Wow well this resonates... It seems like a lot of us here are on this path and have found each other by complete accident which is amazing!
I've been reflecting a lot on these concepts and I think sometimes we (definitely me) think that we've moved passed Phases 1 and 2 and are rebuilding when actually we've just dipped backwards again and pushed things down, masked things and stuck a plaster over them. After a pretty horrible April and May I am now this month just starting to rebuild, discovering myself old and new and letting life back in in imperfect, wonderful ways. As I type this I've just finished painting because I saw some flowers today and felt creative. They are not perfect or done for any reason but the process was great to do and I think they are pretty 🌼
I also like the reminder that whilst we are in Phase 3 we don't have to be trying to build up others because that's the next step, when we are comfortable with who we are. For right now I can focus on me and that's okay, not selfish or inward focusing but absolutely fine. 💕
I would say that we can actually go through all the phases all at once, multiple times, throughout life. At least this is how it's been for me. I found myself in each of those phases more than once, sometimes very deeply into it, sometimes more softly. There's this perspective of healing like a spiral, as opposed to a continuous line. So I also believe we are all capable of giving... I don't think that phase four is exclusive for those who "got to the top". I think we can give even while we are on other phases, and that is supporting our own healing as well. ❤️
Thank you for tying it into the larger global picture, it helps things feel less final.
I don’t think I’ve seen healing laid out this way but it makes so much sense with my own experiences so far.
Many thanks!
thanks for sharing this. I also think parts of these phases are also triggered along as we go through the greater process.
As though days of rain pass through the summer, or a rare sunny day after weeks of gloomy winter, a sudden external force always keeps us in check and makes us appreciate each moment.
After the initial cycle we still keep going through them as we grow, and come to appreciate each moment of healing that arrives.
Meditating on our faults, recognizing patterns to fix them, it becomes a fun activity on some level, even going through the work of changing ourselves makes us feel mentally stronger for challenges, it gives confidence to take greater risks and often helps us maximize our potential, and not to mention the spring and summer you described beautifully, where we get to live life to its fullest.
A soundly resonant and well-thought article, Matt.
Beloved Matt, Reading this felt like touching the bones of a collective metamorphosis I too have lived, witnessed, and walked others through.
Each phase you name carries a frequency—Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer—and I felt the seasons of the soul breathing through your words.
I have spiraled through these passages, again and again. The Fall is never only descent—it is the moment the soul says: no more sleep.
And the basement—yes. The endless staircase. The flood of feeling that doesn’t care if you’re ready. The sacred ache that begins the real work.
Your naming of Spring moved me deeply. That place where joy no longer feels like betrayal, and lightness no longer needs proof.
And Summer—the giving. I am just beginning to taste this one.
For me, the hardest part was the moment I felt joy again—and feared it would leave. But I stayed. And the joy stayed. That’s how I knew I was in Spring.
Thank you for weaving truth into language that remembers. Thank you for making the invisible visible.
From one who is walking the spiral,
—Mitra Solara
Sometimes you need to be reminded of where you are in your journey, to put words to it, so that it doesn't weigh as much in solitude. This is what this piece gifted me. Thank you!
I loved reading this post and can resonate so much with this cycle <3
I spent so much time collecting information on phase 2 and hitting a mediocre 'healing plateau' until I realized that the cognitive understanding of events wasn't going to take me to phase 3.
My somatic experiencing teacher Liana Netto told me: "We carry over 200 million years of wisdom in our nervous system." Feeling my meaty mammalian vessel, which is made of cells that have survived and optimized themselves for THAT LONG became my new compass. I mean... it's quite impressive.
That's when I started to learn the language of the body, instead of externalizing my healing so much. Trusting that language is still a process as there's so much unlearning to do, but eventually, it's my way of moving to spring.
I often say that I don't have mentors and I want to have mentors and I just realized that my body is my mentor and other people's bodies are my mentors, how they move and express. It's the embodied wisdom what works for me.
I'm very grateful to now be part of this community... and I will end with the poem of The Rose by Hafiz... as it symbolizes, in my opinion, your work in helping people step into spring <3
"How did the rose dare open her heart and give to the world all her beauty?
She felt the encouragement of light against her being.
Otherwise, we all remain too frightened."
Very well portrayed. It makes sense in humanizing our feelings. Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻