Starting a new life is hard

Welcome to the 148 new subscribers who have joined us since the last post!

I’m Matt, I co-founded a YouTube channel, wrote a book about it, and now live in Barcelona as a full-time writer.

Every few weeks, I share a short lesson aimed at making your life 1% better. Glad you’re here.

Also, Matt’s Friend Club—as you’ll see below—is turning into something truly special. Hope to see you in there :)

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I’ve lived in Barcelona for just over three months now.

I fall more in love with this city every single day.

I’ve made incredible friends, I love my art classes, my Spanish is improving.

It’s cool, it’s great.

But man, on a lot of days, I feel like I’m moving through tar sand.

Everything feels like it’s taking longer than it should. Days go by and I question whether I’m getting anything done, whether progress is being made.

That’s the thing about starting life over again—you end up in this seemingly never-ending phase of being a beginner.

You feel like a child all the time.

I can’t fully express myself in the language I’m trying to speak. I can’t fully express myself in the art I’m trying to make. I can’t fully express myself as this guy who’s learning to listen to his body and share how he truly feels.

Even with this newsletter and my friend club—it’s my first solo business in ten years and I often feel like a novice entrepreneur.

My brain lately has felt like it’s twisted in knots, like I’m constantly trying to find the thing to do or say, but the software is still loading and the neurons are firing in slow motion.

Shouldn’t I be better at this by now???

Patience, grace. These are the daily reminders, but some days it’s really frustrating.

Like today. Today is frustrating.

I remember when I was in seventh grade, I was in a typing class. We would sit at the computer and the teacher would put these big boxes over our hands so that we could learn how to write without looking down.

It was extraordinarily effective. Within a month, teenage Matt could type a storm. (Late-night AIM sessions also helped—apologies to the youngins who won’t get that reference.)

Meanwhile, when I would come home from school I would walk up the stairs to greet my mom, who would often be at the computer typing emails, applying for jobs. She didn’t have a class to teach her and computers were new for her, so her abilities were less refined. She had to search the whole keyboard before clicking a letter with her index finger. It was painfully slow.

Watching her struggle to express herself in this way broke my heart. I so badly wanted to jump in and do it for her, to teach her, to save her from that angst.

It was the same with English. When we moved to the US when I was seven, she barely spoke the language. My siblings and I didn’t either but we became fluent within six months. It took her years before she felt comfortable speaking.

Again, pang in my heart.

Still hurts to think and write about.

It’s hard to watch your mom struggle with something that comes easier to you.

But as I write this, I realize that I’m a bit where she was. She had picked up her whole life in France in her 30’s and moved to America with no friends, no work and no ability to speak.

Thing is, I don’t have kids, I had friends here, and I could already get by in the language. So, it could be harder.

But I think this is where I can find grace for myself—if I had empathy for my mom and her learning process, maybe I can have the same empathy for myself.

Growing up is hard. Learning new stuff is hard. Starting a new life is hard.

But it’s examples like my mom that remind me that it’s possible and that it’s worth it. She speaks fluent English now and types like a pro. She eventually learned—it just took her longer.

And that’s what I’m starting to accept. That building Life 2.0—life post-Yes Theory, and post-20’s—will take years.

In the meantime, I can acknowledge the fact that yesterday I learned how to say leaf (hoja) and fingernail (uña). That’s pretty cool. Or that I can now draw people’s faces and they actually kind of look like faces. Or that this Sunday I spent time with someone I adore and I didn’t feel guilty about taking time off.

None of that used to be possible for me. These are undeniable wins. I have to remember that.

I might not be moving at lightning speed, but you know what, I’m moving.

And that’s worth celebrating.

Love,

Matt

PS -

I’ve been getting emails like this from people in the penpal group and it’s just wild. The connections that are happening in there are the coolest, most rewarding thing ever.

WIN OF THE WEEK

Last weekend, I finished my first Ironman 70.3 in Texas! It was a lot of fun, especially to cross the finish line (see me on the right, in my McGill Triathlon kit ;))

Congrats Marc! The work, pain, and sacrifice it takes to finish a 70.3 is no joke. You’re a beast, my friend.

To submit your Win of the Week please send a photo and a caption to matt@mattdahlia.com.

Love you!