Do I Share Too Much With You?
I went on my friend Andre’s podcast recently, which will be coming out soon.
It was two hours long. And man…we went deep. I was mega vulnerable. I shared exactly where I was at. My struggles, pain, things I’m still working through.
For a few hours and even days afterwards, I had a vulnerability hangover.
I worried I’d shared too much of my life. That I should have talked about other things.
You see, now that I’m back in the world and appearing on camera again, that’s been a big concern for me.
Whoever’s listening to me is getting all of me. Not the glitzy photoshopped version but the morning bed hair, wrinkled version.
And that is so mothafuckin scary.
On tough days, when anxiety hits hard, I seriously consider limiting what I put out there.
What if I revealed less? Talked about myself less? Focused on other subjects?
But on clear days, I think about my favorite artists.
J. Cole, for example.
My favorite rapper who has saved me countless times with his words and his willingness to share his inner world.
He’s someone who has also admitted to that fear of exposing himself too much.
In his song, January 28th, for example, he talks about how much he’s been paid “…just to share my life on the stage in front of strangers, who know a n**** far too well, and that’s the danger. Know me better than I know myself.”
Another one is Elizabeth Gilbert.
Wow do I love this woman.
Eat, Pray, Love is a classic book but also, in my humble opinion, very underrated.
Talk about laying yourself bare.
In it, she shares everything from crying on her bathroom floor because she knows she needs to divorce her husband, to detailing the excruciating loneliness she experiences solo traveling—“I am alone, I am all alone, I am completely alone”—and the details of her love life with a suave Brazilian guy she meets in Bali.
Her book begins with this quote by Sheryl Louise Miller: “Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth.”
How brave.
How absolutely brave of these humans.
I realize this now more than ever.
Great artists know exactly what they are doing, what they are sacrificing.
They know that their impact goes hand in hand with their exposure.
They know that only through sheer honesty can people like me, on lonely Sundays and crowded trains, find solace in their words.
True vulnerability is a prerequisite to great art.
In a world of Instagram filters and deepfakes, the greatest gift you can give to others is your truth, your truth, your truth.
It will forever be the priceless currency.
It will never go out of style.
I hope I’ll be brave enough to keep giving you mine.
Love,
Matt
PS - On a sillier note, here’s a clip of Ammar and I freestyling while we were brainstorming the book cover. Enjoy :)